In a distant and second-hand set of dimensions, in an astral plane that was never meant to fly, the curling star-mists waver and part --
See --
Great A'Tuin the turtle comes, swimming slowly through the interstellar gulf, hydrogen frost on his ponderous limbs, his huge and ancient shell pocked with meteor craters. Through sea-sized eyes that are crusted with rheum and asteroid dust He stares fixedly at the Destination.
Most of the weight is of course accounted for by the four giant elephants upon whose broad and startanned shoulders the disc of the World rests, garlanded by the long waterfall at its vast circumference and domed by the baby-blue vault of Heaven.
Exactly why this should be may never be known. Possibly the Creator of the universe got bored with all the usual business of axial inclination, albedos and rotational velocities, and decided to have a bit of fun for once.
The shape and cosmology of the disc system are perhaps worthy of note at this point. There are, of course, two major directions on the disc: Hubward and Rimward. But since the disc itself revolves at the rate of once every eight hundred days (in order to distribute the weight fairly upon its supportive pachyderms, according to Reforgule of Krull) there are also two lesser directions, which are Turnwise and Widdershins.
Precisely why all the above should be so is not clear, but goes some way to explain why, on the disc, the Gods are not so much worshipped as blamed.
come on now cruel city, with lonely eyes:
Vimes sighed, stretched his legs out on the roof in front of him. Breathed in the night, and tried not to think about how comfortable he felt gallivanting over rooftops with the Patrician to escape Lady Selachii and not assassins – comfortable enough to be having this conversation with the him.
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endeavour also to not conflate:
Who watches he who watches the Watchmen watch the Watch?
Rufus Drumknott has spent most of his life under a good Patrician.
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find a new word for what we are:
"Polis" means "of the city," it is known. In the same language, "Autos" means "of oneself".
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Girls' Night:
Every so often, Rosemary Palm and Sandra Battye have Sybil Ramkin and Havelock Vetinari around for some much-needed banter and mutual friendship.
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Just Freaks, Like You, and Me (I Know a Place):
His Lordship did, Rufus had observed, have many traits most of the populace passed off as appropriately Tyrannical quirks, and thus never really considered, much like how most of the populace assumed the Lady Ramkin’s interests were natural due to her wealth and high breeding, and not because she understood dragons more than humans.
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long-term complications:
When you've tricked a city into helping itself up, you shouldn't be too surprised that they can reach some of the plates and keep them in motion for you. When you've let somebody see a bit of you, it's hard to fully block them back out. When you're many people's angel, maybe you do get more than one.
AKA, the author's chronic illness Vetinari manifesto.
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learned to lie:
“You don’t even realise it hurts me when you lie to me, do you?” Vimes sighed, sitting down on the bed. He grinned a little grin, lopsided. “I bet you’ve been lying since you were born.”
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mind ze teeth:
“Zat vos an excellent example, Villiam. Now you should go and tell zat man.”
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my eyes to serve:
A visitor to the Oblong Office takes Lord Vetinari's cane. Drumknott is somewhat homicidal about this.
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on the run from the Watch:
"And where is this young man off to in such a hurry?" asked Uncle Havelock, from way up on top of Uncle Havelock's Very Long Legs.
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Party's Over and You Don't Look so Good:
Ankh-Morpork's finest nobs are gathered for a ball in the Palace, and Rufus Drumknott watches his Patrician struggle through it. Then, he's there for support on the way home.
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psychrophilic:
To be deliberately annoying, Vimes said “Is this your way of saying you’d like to be my friend?”
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An Unexpected Career Decision:
It was the sort of adolescent statement made only to piss the adults off, combined with a blunt and forceful remark about said adults having left one of his (numerous) uncles out. At the time, he didn’t think much of it, apart from the short-lived and furious argument he and Dad’d had that night. The problem was, after a few weeks, he stopping thinking not much of it.
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until my protector come:
“I am gathering you do not regret it,” said Vetinari, and Vimes knew it was as a joke, to release tension. Once upon a time that, too, would have been a genuine proposed question.
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what did you say to my only child?:
Robrta Meserole had sent a sweet, gentle child to school in Ankh-Morpork, a fragile thing who stared at butterflies.
It had been a long six months.
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yellow out of marigolds :
Sybil had been trying to escape the ‘party’ bit of the garden party to go and enjoy the garden. A bunch of boys ruined her plans when one of them got shoved over.
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