Watched

See also: to read/watch list.

Incomplete! Extremely subjective rating key: 5, would rewatch any day. 4, I really like it and regularly watch (alternatively: I really like it and it impacted me deeply in a way where I don't want to rewatch it regularly). 3, it's fun (and/or I like it), I'm down to rewatch. 2, thanks I hate it (with some redeeming qualities). 1, thanks, I hate it.

The Green Knight, 2021 (4/5)

↪ What else ought there be?

The King's Man, 2021 (2/5)

↪ This is not a good movie. However, the bisexual attempted murder Rasputin dance scene was very fun.

Solo: A Star Wars Story, 2018 (3/5)

↪ It's a fun film, get some whimsy and appreciate the fact that Chewbacca and Erin Kellyman are here.

The Hollow Crown: Richard III, 2016 (0/5)

↪ A remarkable achievement to be more ableist than the original propaganda hit piece made in Elizabethan England for a royal patron, but they pulled it off and really one-upped Shakespeare. Whoever decided to crip up and cast Benedict "I went to a special school to study disabled people as the basis for my portrayal of Frankenstein's monster" "autistic people can't be heroes" Cumberbatch as Disabled Icon of All Time Richard III, congratulations on not even slightly understanding the most famous soliloquy in the play. And don't think I didn't notice the decision to imply the ableism Richard faces is because of his villainy, when in the play it's other way around.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, 2014 (3/5)

↪ This one goes in the category of "Is it good? No. But is it fun? Yes!" Perfectly enjoyable in its niche... and far more enjoyable than Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

X-Men: First Class, 2011 (2/5)

↪ This film leaves me with questions rather than answers. Normally I wouldn't have an issue with this, but in this case my questions are: Where is my dad? Why does this man have hair and walk with legs and out Hank McCoy? And why was the drag scene deleted?

The Da Vinci Code, 2006 (2/5)

↪ Is this film good? No. Is the color-grading good? No. Is any of it good? Moments. Ian McKellan is a treat as always.

Die Hard, 1988 (3/5)

↪ Blah, blah, copaganda, blah, blah, he would not fucking be able-bodied.... Alan Rickman's German accent is extremely funny and so is half the dialogue. One of those ones where I grudgingly acknowledge it's a classic for a reason.

The Final Countdown, 1980 (2/5)

↪ Vaguely interesting. Even more dated to my eyes than other 80's propaganda films tend to be. I'm glad there was more philosophy than action, but disappointed by the quality (or lack thereof) of that philosophy. I liked the VFX of the storm, however - and Martin Sheen was there! That was fun.

12 Angry Men, 1957 (4/5)

↪ I don't have a snappy, glib one-liner about this film. It's classic for a reason, and regarded as one of the best films of all time for a reason. The minimalist attention-keeping and character detail is masterful, and more akin to what I would expect from a small and excellent stage play than a movie, even one made in 1957 on B&W film. Its artistic merit is great; by far the bulk of its power, though, comes from its optimistic narrative of being able to just... talk things out, and to save a life by doing so. The point isn't that the accused was, in the literal sense, not guilty - the point is that legally he is not guilty, because the jury decided there was reasonable doubt. Is it a good jury deliberation, legally? Perhaps not. But it is a powerful and optimistic one, and one that is very realistic from a standpoint of human emotion and determination.

Freaks, 1932 (4.5/5)

↪ Half a point off for the ending (as in, the Hen Scene). A wonderful piece with real disabled actors, showing disabled people making a life together and protecting each other. A product of its time in many ways... which is absolutely damning in terms of where cinema is at today re: disability.