i am a very nervous system.
friends all alive right now. hoping to keep it that way. feeling kind of crummy but also very aware that by all accounts my life is the best it's ever been. i got the zine i contributed to a few weeks ago! looks good on my shelf, and good to see my name in print. my room's generally lookig really nice, too!
in other news, i keep escaping being villainised when my friends are and honestly i don't just feel bad for my friends about it i feel a bit demeaned. i suppose i'm just so Direct about things and mind my own business so much that it's hard to interpret my words & actions as malicious. but like. how does this keep happening to me. although from sample size i suppose it was bound to happen a few times.
event went okay, i think. i've been spending a lot of money (yikes) but mostly on keeping my friends alive (good use for it). now i'm being asked to manage something. oh no. i hate becoming important at work. mostly because i can't work. i've been having a more competent couple weeks than usual; enjoying it while it's here.
big event coming up soon. still stressed but now more busy than stressed. hoping that lasts and that the event isn't too disappointing; trying to keep my expectations low for it but i want it to go well. writing's coming slow. work's (volunteering's) hard but everyone's being lovely about it. overall, i have a lot to complain about but life is better than normal. waiting for two (2) physical charity zines!! really looking forward to them, especially the one i contributed to.